This last summer the Democratic National Committee invited a number of  local Los Angeles scouts to appear before the Democratic National Convention. On August 17th, these young boys proudly put on their uniforms and stood on stage before one of the largest political gatherings in America and were roundly booed by delegates. Ms. Galanter and Ms. Goldberg are members of  this political organization. Are these people who often put on the blue collar before they address us, Family Unfriendly?

That was their story. This is ours.

Boy Scouts – One Families Perspective
By the father of two boys, David Coffin

     Do you suppose that John Belushi’s parents would have done things differently in retrospect? Would Carrol O'Connor have mapped a different course for his son to follow had he the chance? How about the parents of sexually promiscuous teenage daughter who becomes pregnant at sixteen? Would the parents of a twenty year old boy, whose tattooed body, pierced tongue, spiked hair and inability to find or hold a job, have done something different?

     Some parents wake up in the middle of the night to a call from the police department or coroner’s office and are confronted with the most horrible nightmare a parent could ever realize. The crippling, or death of their child. Some parents everyday lives consists of taking care of their adult children who were impaired by drugs, ravaged by disease and who routinely took risks.

     Today’s parents realize that we live in a society of excesses that can have harsh or even deadly repercussions on their children and their families. Frequently we are asked to make decisions between the rights of individuals or the rights of families and all to often we allow the rights of individuals to trample all over families rights. The issue here really is not of an individuals sexual orientation or freedom from religion. No, this is an issue of how parents, weary of these excesses wish to bring up their child in today’s world. 

     This is an issue of whose concerns are more important? The parent or the social activist? This is about who is most directly affected by the child who participates in activities that harm them mentally, physically and socially. The parent or the politician? It is about the parents and children who will forever suffer the consequences when the worst occurs, and it is about a city council, a school board or a politician who can quietly distance themselves and blame it on the parents for not taking an active enough role in the child’s development. This is about the integrity of a family consumed by the nightmare as a result of an institutional or political policy.

     To date, the cities of Chicago, San Francisco and San Jose and Minneapolis, New York City Schools and our own Jackie Goldberg, Ruth Galanter and the rest of the Los Angeles City Council have taken actions against the Boy Scouts of America. They claim they took such action on advise of their attorneys. What do we need politicians for if we have attorneys making the decisions?  Regardless, their actions are an attack on our families integrity and our efforts to raise our young boy’s by minimizing certain societal influences on our children that we feel threatens the very existence of our family. The character our son’s develop before they turn 18 has a direct influence on the integrity of our family. Many families recognize that the Boy Scouts help develop the kind of character that preserves that integrity.

     We know that many of today’s societal influences threaten the well being of our families. In our family, my wife and I want to see our boys grow to have good character, productive lives, marry and have a family themselves to experience what we enjoy now. We hope that one day we will have the opportunity to become what our parents are. Grandparents. But this will or may not happen if we as parents are handcuffed by a society from raising our children in society full of excesses.

     As an example, we have to raise our children in an environment that discourages the use of drugs. Drugs threaten the integrity of our family by diminishing our children’s learning ability and career potential. It reduces their ability to become loving spouses and effective parents and may even cause accidental death. Drug use by school age children sets them up for failure as much as drinking, smoking, behaviors such as promiscuous sexual behavior, bi-sexuality, homosexuality, gothic or heavy metal dress, tongue piercing, tattooing and other excessive freedoms of expression. 

     We are not naïve in believing that we can raise our children sheltered from the threats of society. Nor do we believe that we can stop them from adopting any of these behaviors, vices, abuses or lifestyles later in life.  But we believe that we must try to minimize those influences on our young children so that they will learn to be happy, productive members of society. We believe that once they turn eighteen, they will then have the maturity, and the foundation to make the proper decisions themselves. If our adult children do participate or indulge in any of these things then..., then so be it. At least we made a well-adjusted effort at raising a well-adjusted child into a well adjusted adult. A child with good character and a sense of morals. 

     The Boy Scouts of America are as important for us as parent's as it is for our young boys. It is a program with behavioral and moral standards that we hope will minimize some of our communities negative influences by keeping them active in crafts, camping, learning of skills, camaraderie, the responsibilities of a citizen and a sense that we as individuals are not the highest order but God is.  Boy Scouts provides millions of parents a way to raise their children so that they can enjoy life, be productive citizens and learn the skills they will need as parents themselves when they grow to adults. It expects all of its participants to live by the same standards it sets.

     The outcome to this issue should not be to resolve the wishes of a singular adult person wants to guide and council young boys in the polar opposite direction of his own beliefs or lifestyle. It should not be to resolve the standings of a few young kids whose parents do not believe in god. Rarely is it the child who takes this stand. It is about social activists, people like the members of the city council or the school board who are attempting to create a divide between our children and us to assert their own potentially threatening values. 

     As a 47 year old father of a young Cub Scout, I have lived through the 60's, 70's, 80's and 90's and over the years I have seen many of the excesses of society consume people I knew and people I didn't. I've had acquaintances who slowly destroyed themselves through drug use that was at one time generally accepted by our peers. I have friends that never had children because of the sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis or herpes. Some people I knew are no longer here because they passed on from AIDS. Some of those I knew cloaked themselves in odd behaviors and dress and never accepted nor became accepted by those around them. I don't want any of these things to happen to my sons and the Boy Scouts, along with my church and my choice of school will help me in my endeavor.

     What this is all about is parents wanting to minimize risks to their immediate family and raise their children to be self-sufficient. Their attack on the Boy Scouts for not wanting to introduce behaviors that threaten the integrity and well being of American families, is nothing less than attacking the families themselves.

David Coffin

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